If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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