You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
