belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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