well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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