is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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