you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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