I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
