happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
