Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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