so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
