I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
