marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
