Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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