break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
