He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
