mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
