whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
