I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
