We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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