Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
