used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
