There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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