Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
