Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
