This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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