please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
