I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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