After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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