I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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