I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
