I think my vagina is haunted
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
