This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
