Do you still have your period?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
