hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
