Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
