So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just pee around me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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