then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
