so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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