I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
