who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
