Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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