She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize