This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
