I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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