Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
