I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
