I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
