My friends, they love my intelligence
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Drake has all the answers
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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