So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
