Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
