I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
