Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
