i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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