Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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