So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
