My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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