im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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