Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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