id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
