so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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