Dual....:-)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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