God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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