i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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