at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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