Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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